Let's talk about The 5 Regrets of the Dying

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54:36

In this episode

The regret that came up more than any other — and what it means for financial plans built around someone else's expectations
Why "I wish I hadn't worked so hard" showed up in every man Ware cared for
The connection between undiscussed finances and undiscussed feelings
What 85 years of Harvard data say about relationships, wealth, and what actually predicts a long, happy life
Scottie Scheffler's Open Championship press conference — the world No. 1 saying the euphoria of winning "only lasts a few minutes"
Why so many people never let themselves enjoy the money they worked so hard to build

Sources referenced

Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Hay House, 2012) — bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying | book listing
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, directed by Robert Waldinger, MD (Massachusetts General Hospital / Harvard Medical School) — adultdevelopmentstudy.org
Below is an excerpt from the press conference; if you find the YouTube video it about 20 minutes in and is the best answer from a sportsman I have heard yet!

Q. You talk about the show goes on, which it does. What would be the longest you've ever celebrated something? What was the most crushing loss or the time it took to get over one?

SCOTTIE SCHEFFLER: I think it's kind of funny, I think I said something after the Byron this year about like it feels like you work your whole life to celebrate winning a tournament for like a few minutes. It only lasts a few minutes, that kind of euphoric feeling.

To win the Byron Nelson Championship at home, I literally worked my entire life to become good at golf to have an opportunity to win that tournament. You win it, you celebrate, get to hug my family, my sister's there, it's such an amazing moment. Then it's like, okay, what are we going to eat for dinner? Life goes on.

Is it great to be able to win tournaments and to accomplish the things I have in the game of golf? Yeah, it brings tears to my eyes just to think about because I've literally worked my entire life to be good at this sport. To have that kind of sense of accomplishment, I think, is a pretty cool feeling. To get to live out your dreams is very special, but at the end of the day, I'm not out here to inspire the next generation of golfers. I'm not out here to inspire someone to be the best player in the world because what's the point? This is not a fulfilling life. It's fulfilling from the sense of accomplishment, but it's not fulfilling from a sense of the deepest places of your heart.

There's a lot of people that make it to what they thought was going to fulfill them in life, and you get there, you get to No. 1 in the world, and they're like what's the point? I really do believe that because what is the point? Why do I want to win this tournament so bad?

That's something that I wrestle with on a daily basis. It's like showing up at the Masters every year; it's like why do I want to win this golf tournament so badly? Why do I want to win The Open Championship so badly? I don't know because, if I win, it's going to be awesome for two minutes. Then we're going to get to the next week, hey, you won two majors this year; how important is it for you to win the FedExCup playoffs? And we're back here again.

So we really do; we work so hard for such little moments. I'm kind of sicko; I love putting in the work. I love getting to practice. I love getting to live out my dreams. But at the end of the day, sometimes I just don't understand the point.

(Laughter).

I don't know if I'm making any sense or not. Am I not? It's just one of those deals. I love the challenge. I love being able to play this game for a living. It's one of the greatest joys of my life, but does it fill the deepest wants and desires of my heart? Absolutely not.